It’s 2 in the morning and I’m dead tired. I feel like everything has set it self back into place. I want to say things will set itself in stone soon but a part of me says that’s just hope reassuring you. I honestly am at a dead end or roadblock right now. I’ve actually been like that for a while now. My mind wants to keep a hold of things that shouldn’t be held on too. It’s hard to explain really, but I’m not looking for anyone to understand me. I sometimes don’t even understand myself. But a phrase keeps running through my mind constantly. It don’t matter what you’re doing, just keep it moving. Shout out to Mod Sun and Tito for that one. I’m still debating whether or not this is even true, but hey, it doesn’t hurt to be optimistic about things.
I was going to type something that was really bothering me but I don’t see the point anymore. People in general are assholes, liars, and all they do is care about themselves. It would be hypocritical for me not to say I’m the same so I’m just going to say that I’m also all of those things. I hate what the world we live in has turned into. I remember my parents talking about back when they were kids, everything was so care free, so different. I feel like I was meant for something more then all of this.
Ryon Riley is my bestest friend ever like oh em gee. I would have sex with him because he’s so cuyoot. Omg my life rules. Omg Omg Omg. people are gay dude, really. Like really. Woah. I mean I don’t even know what I’m typing here, that’s how gay they are.
I know you don’t think of me anymore. I know that you’re living a whole other life that’s probably interesting, but I sometimes to think to back then and remember how everything was and how I could use someone like you in my life. I wish there would be someone like you. I feel so lost lately. I feel like I can’t explain myself to anyone. I feel so alone sometimes. I hate looking back on the past because I get this feeling in my stomach that makes me want to think of the present. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more vulnerable to failure ever in my life.
figure it out boy you’re tripping so pull yourself together or you’ll wash up like the rest cause this ship is sinking i’m thinking “i’m done for” i’m watching the sails disappear underwater cause i’m no captain yet
I’ve always wanted to have complete control over myself, over my actions, everything I say and do. I once told myself that that could possibly be one of the easiest things. As time flies by I still learn a thing or two about myself. I’m born as one Alex but as events occur, decisions made, that Alex changes. Physically the same but mentally different. I don’t know if it’s just me that this happens but sometimes I feel so confused, with my mind racing while I do nothing. It’s so hard to describe. It’s like I’m trying to process everything but my body doesn’t know what to do. I appreciate If you’re actually reading this random shit I’m typing because quite frankly I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’ve gone through so much the past year. I’ve learned and realized so many new things about myself. Whoever said life was about finding yourself was right. I’m struggling to pick up the pieces that make myself up everyday of my life, every minute, every second. Whenever someone asks me to describe myself, I struggle to find the right words. I usually come out with a blank or something along the lines of plain and boring. This is the part where things start to make no sense because my mind is thinking a mile a minute and my fingers can’t translate those thoughts into words. I’ll stop for now. Thank you to those who read this. I hope this doesn’t change your view on me. I know for a fact I’m not crazy.
there was once a time where I felt like utter complete shit almost everyday. Almost a year ago I think? I’m pretty sure. Looking back I realized that without that whole process I wouldn’t be where I am today. I actually do feel like everything does happen for a reason and without everything we go through who knows how we would all turn out?
Half of these thoughts are sided. Its cold where I’m sitting. Day after day after day. I really dislike your work ethic. That really was a low blow you just don’t know it. I miss seeing your face. And the worst part is, before it gets better, you’re heading for a cliff. Your jealousy stings like hell. I feel like I need to buy more food. Everything is moving forward so fast. I wish i had that chance. I suck at bowling d00d. Your inspiration is like a boring old movie to me. What happened to chicks that valued chivalry? You are the only exception.From the start. Wind blowing against these branches. This is the venom in my veins. I will go on and on. Why am I still dealing with this. The mind is a beautiful thing. I’m drowning beneath this tide. You have to take my hand first. Swiftly taking.